Friday, December 26, 2008

Cross Stitch Horrors

[Cross stitch project that I am working on]


I came across this some time ago and thought it was just so funny until it happens to you that is, that I wanted to share it with you all. I have no idea who the author is, so here it goes:


CROSS STITCH HORRORS


Today I joined a cross stitch class
And though it may sound dumb
Where once my fingers used to be
I now possessed a thumb


I couldn't thread the needle
And this creates a 'hitch'
For without a threaded needle
You can't create a stitch


The instructor had to thread it
And though it sounds kind hearted
She muttered lots of muffled words
And hastily departed


She showed us how to make a stitch
And where we should begin
But the first stitch ended painfully
Beneath my tender skin


Well, I've never been heroic
And I believe one lady said
The screams that issued from my mouth
Would surely wake the dead


The class was in an uproar
As they crammed to take a peek
For my face was now a deathly white
And my legs were feeling weak


My finger was in tatters
I tried hard not to cry
But the gash looked like a canyon
There was a good chance that I'd die


The teacher yelled impatiently
What she said I'll never know
For I fainted in an instant
When the blood began to flow


The teacher phoned the ambulance
For the wound was very deep
But she said the blood-drenched patterns
Could now be mine to keep


As they placed me in the ambulance
She let out such a shriek
When I tried to reassure her
That I'd be back next week!

6 comments:

Terry said...

It seems as if you are talking from experience ROFL

Terry said...

This is just so funny and so visual

Beth in IL said...

It was funny! Hope it did NOT happen to you. Love the started piece. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I like peeking at your blog, even though I do not often leave a comment. You do beautiful work.
Beth in IL

Love to Stitch 99 said...

Terry & Beth,

It did happened often enough, but I handled it in a very dignified fashion :-)

There are some needles that seem to be doing it more than others like the very small ones that enter in your finger flesh and just remains there straight up or down. I hate it when that happens.

The worst offenders were when I did my very first brazilian embroidery project. We used very big needles for that and I remember how bad my fingers were at the end of any session. That part was really not fun at all. I got better at it though and now I rarely prick myself with those, but I still do from times to times with the little ones, actually those are the ones you sent me Terry :-(

Pierrette =^..^=

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