Cross Stitch Horrors

[Cross stitch project that I am working on]


I came across this some time ago and thought it was just so funny until it happens to you that is, that I wanted to share it with you all. I have no idea who the author is, so here it goes:

CROSS STITCH HORRORS

Today I joined a cross stitch class

And though it may sound dumb

Where once my fingers used to be

I now possessed a thumb

I couldn't thread the needle

And this creates a 'hitch'

For without a threaded needle

You can't create a stitch

The instructor had to thread it

And though it sounds kind hearted

She muttered lots of muffled words

And hastily departed

She showed us how to make a stitch

And where we should begin

But the first stitch ended painfully

Beneath my tender skin

Well, I've never been heroic

And I believe one lady said

The screams that issued from my mouth

Would surely wake the dead

The class was in an uproar

As they crammed to take a peek

For my face was now a deathly white

And my legs were feeling weak

My finger was in tatters

I tried hard not to cry

But the gash looked like a canyon

There was a good chance that I'd die

The teacher yelled impatiently

What she said I'll never know

For I fainted in an instant

When the blood began to flow

The teacher phoned the ambulance

For the wound was very deep

But she said the blood-drenched patterns

Could now be mine to keep

As they placed me in the ambulance

She let out such a shriek

When I tried to reassure her

That I'd be back next week!